Moving down the negative post
January 29, 2007 | Filed Under Eaglet, General, Photos | 2 Comments
It was another low-key weekend in Minnesota. Here are a couple of snapshots in time.
I was standing in the hallway talking to Jason, when Ben grabbed my hand. “Come on, Mommy,” he urged. “Look, look!” The object of his awe? He had placed one truck upside down on another. “Good job!” I praised obligingly, but he wasn’t done. He dragged me to the desk where the camera is stored, and ordered “picture!” Naively, I thought he wanted me to take his picture. Nope, he wanted photographic evidence of his creative car stacking.
We worked on decluttering some this weekend, including a sort and dump of our junk drawer. We found the size 4 underroos purchased long ago to amuse ourselves (by putting them on the dogs). Ben found them to be a very entertaining hat. It is definitely an accurate statement on our potty training efforts…
Remember when Benny was a baby and we posted pictures of him making out with the dragon on his exersaucer? Yeah, he still has a thing for dragons.
My new favorite Jason-made meal? Philly cheesesteaks. Seriously, I never knew they could be so good. I am forever spoiled.
Have a good week.
-R
Off to a crummy start…
January 26, 2007 | Filed Under B!tch!n, General | 1 Comment
This morning I couldn’t find my wallet. This is odd to me, because I don’t remember taking it out of my pocket once yesterday. So it should still be in the pants I wore yesterday, right? Thrashing though piles of dirty clothes, looking under the bed, counter-tops, cars, jackets- everywhere I can think of. Nope. So then, thoroughly pissed off, I say “screw it” and head for work. When I get to work, I realize that I was so preoccupied looking for my wallet, I have forgotten my ID badge. This is also how I get through the door. Great. Oh yeah- to get a temporary, you are supposed to present a photo ID… See where this is going?
Things have to get better.
J
*edit, + 2minutes later* So, I look down and see that the badge is hanging around my damn neck. It took me about 10 seconds to realize what I was seeing. I am trying to decide if this means things are better, or worse. I already stood in line to get my temp, so it is like adding insult to injury. Now, hopefully I accidentally sat on my wallet, and any second it will fall out of my buttcheeks.
*edit, by Rachel* Jason forgot the worst part of the morning. Ben fell down the stairs as I was picking up my badge, and Jason was looking for his wallet. I turned and caught him before his giant melon cracked onto the hard tile. He was scared. He cried. He is ok. I was scared. I wanted to cry. I may never be ok.
Yippee
January 24, 2007 | Filed Under Scrapbooking, Travel | 6 Comments
This was supposed to be a surprise for my mom, but since I stink at keeping secrets and already told her, I get to share it with all of you. Next Thursday, I will be flying to Michigan to go on a scrapbooking retreat with my mom, Lisa, and a bunch of people from their church. I don’t know what I am most excited about: 2 days of scrapbooking, a weekend with the girls, or the possibility of sleeping in without guilt? Ok, I do know. Here’s where I will be: Creative Passions Quilt and Crop retreat. My wonderful husband not only encouraged this getaway, he’s going to drop me off and pick me up at the airport in Minneapolis even though my “name your price” ticket times STINK. Thank you Jason! My icky times are giving me some extra time in Flint-town, so I will be able to see my other family in town too. Now, the trick will be to keep up the excitement so I don’t freak about leaving Ben.
-R
1-23
January 23, 2007 | Filed Under General | 5 Comments
My mother’s cousin Maria sent this picture to us last week, and a note saying that my grandma had confirmed that it was a picture of mom and me, and that it was taken in 1981. I looked at it for about a minute before Rachel said exactly what I had been thinking. “Man, you really look like Stacey in that picture!” For some reason, it took about another minute for me to realize- “Hey, I would be almost 4 years old in the summer of 1981… that kid doesn’t look 4 years old. Hmm…. Oh yeah! It is Stacey.” The fact that the other child is obviously a very young Valerie (a cousin about Stacey’s age) should have tipped me off as well. Anyhow, I am very appreciative for this picture.
Spoke with my dad last night for a few minutes while I was trying to get some fish in the oven and some dessert in a pan. Didn’t think too much about it at first, until Rachel smacked herself on the forehead at dinner. “I need to send Amanda a birthday card- her birthday is on the 27th.” “No- it isn’t,” I said without hesitation. “It is on the 23rd. She will be 12.”
I would like to say that this recognition is because I have an uncanny ability to remember important dates, like birthdays, but anyone who knows me knows that I am horrible at this. You see, I can’t remember exactly when I realized that our niece Amanda was born the exact day my mother died, but I do know that it was well before she was my niece. I think it may have been when I was working near Detroit, and went up to Flint for her birthday party without Rachel (who was still up at school). I fell asleep on the floor there after we ate- always the good guest!
Every time I see Amanda, I see this beautiful little girl (not so little anymore, by the way) has grown taller and stronger. I can’t help but look at her also as a measure of time. In the amount of time since my mother has been gone, a newborn has become a young woman- smart and silly, who is winning robotics competitions with her classmates.
For several years after (sometimes still) I feel really down around this time. I think my dad recognized this when I was at school, and we usually talk on or around the day. Thinking about the 12 years, and seeing how much Amanda has grown, makes me realize how much time has passed. It makes me reflect on the hurt- how it has dulled somewhat. It occasionally flares up, sometimes stronger than ever. Usually this happens when I think about Ben, and how I wish he had a chance to know her; that she could have held him.
Still, I am thankful that this remarkable coincidence with Amanda exists. It comforts me in a very personal way. It makes me feel that in some sense life, like energy, is neither created nor destroyed. That while a beautiful person died that day, another was born.
J